My blog is about the scenic, stressful, spectacular life (and everything screwy in between) of a
California girl turned expat transplanted to the land down under: North Queensland, Australia.

October 18, 2010

Day 13.

So I am like, 5 days behind. I suck. But after making the fam a meal of chicken chop suey, I am full, happily refreshed, and ready to blog! The question is:

Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough times.

I just posted on my other blog about how lately I feel like I’m twelve years old again. To make a long story short, at twelve my dad dropped me off with my grandparents and I ended up living with them. Kind of. They gave me the guest house behind the main house. The only time we saw each other was to eat. I was in the pre-teen angst of wanting to be alone, yet I was too alone. I felt like I was in solitude. I had a TV that only had two channels that worked, and a little tape player.

Right before I moved in with my dad (kind of), I had discovered Pearl Jam. One day MTV was on in the background, and I heard “Evenflow”. I stopped what I was doing and watched the entire video and was in awe. I had recently started watching Headbanger’s Ball and 120 Minutes (at my dad’s, who didn’t care if I stayed awake until four in the morning), and had already fell in love with Metallica. When I was ten my brother made me a tape of “…And Justice for All” that my mom wouldn’t let me listen to. One day on MTV I heard the song “One” (the Metallica version not the U2 one-duh!), and I played it over and over and over when she wasn’t around. But Pearl Jam, this was like something I had never heard before. I bought “Ten” right away, and played it almost every day.

I would study the liner notes and buy rock magazines that featured them. All of the songs made sense to twelve-year-old me, especially the songs “Why Go” and “Release”:

she scratches a letter into a wall made of stone                                                  maybe someday another child won’t feel as alone as she does

I see the world feel the chill which way to go windowsill                                           I see the words on a rocking horse of time I see the birds in the rain                 Oh dear dad can you see me now? I am myself like you somehow

I even met one of my best friends through Pearl Jam, even though I hated her for months. Once my mom took me away from my dad (kind of), I had to go to a really ghetto middle school because the one closest to me (in the nicer part of town) was full. I wore my “Ten” shirt:

  Remember this dude?

Some girl, in the middle of lunch, walked up to me and said “Jeremy spoke in…” (if you don’t know what this means you lived under a rock in 1992) and this cafeteria bench full of girls started laughing. I was humiliated. Months later I had a class with her, and she told me she did that because she really liked Pearl Jam, and she apologized for making me feel stupid. Al and I happily shared a music obsession, and even though we took different paths in the rock music fork in the road (I still like hard rock while she…likes death metal? WTF?) the times we spent as teens rocking out will always be amazing memories.

In my later high school years Pearl Jam took an almost softer turn whereas I was full on into Grunge: Alice in Chains, Soundgarden, Stone Temple Pilots, Nirvana. I was also able to start appreciating hard rock through them and Metallica: Tool, Nine Inch Nails, Rage Against the Machine, System of a Down, Hole, Deftones, Filter, Korn, Limp Bizkit, Marilyn Manson, and Red Hot Chili Peppers. These bands revolved around the orbit that is me in my teens. So many songs to this day bring me right back to where I was when I first heard them, and even though some bands have dropped off the radar (*cough* Limp Bizkit and Korn *cough*), I still love their earlier works. The other day I was feeling terrible and I did what I used to do when I was a twelve-year-old: lock the door, start the CD, lay down on the floor and just absorb the music. I have yet to see Pearl Jam in concert, but if I ever had a chance to meet Eddie Vedder and Co., I would tell them that their music was my lifeline for many, many years.

1 comment:

  1. This is awesome. The teen years are dangerous. Depression hits some and they can't handle it. Thank God for music to get us through the tough times. You and I have both been blessed!