My blog is about the scenic, stressful, spectacular life (and everything screwy in between) of a
California girl turned expat transplanted to the land down under: North Queensland, Australia.

October 09, 2010

Day 9.

Pardon my two day absence as I am being stabbed in the back of the head by a migraine at the moment. I’ve taken my migraine pills, sinus pills, even muscle relaxers and it’s still doing its worst. I wouldn’t even be typing right now, but I ate some soup and a pb&j sammich and decided to make this entry short.

Day 9: Someone you didn't want to let go, but who drifted away.

I’ve been blessed enough that the people I choose to have in my life are still in my life, but there are three people that in one way or another mean a lot to me and are now MIA. I’ll go in chronological order.

I met Jason in seventh grade, and he was a chubby headbanger that played the drums in my band class. He was a cool guy, and when I went to another school the next year we still talked on the phone all the time. The summer of ninth grade saw a huge mall open in our town, and I made him meet me there to catch up in person after a year of phone time. I walked around and around the mall, trying to picture Jason’s face in my head and scanning people who may be him, with no luck. About fifteen minutes before my mom was supposed to pick me up I grabbed a hot dog on a stick when I see this really, really REALLY hot guy walk my way. I turn away so I wouldn’t be staring at him when he passed me, but he stopped and said “hey”. OMG, JASON!?!?!?! He was HOT! I was freaking out inside. I actually grew out of my awkward brace face phase that summer so boys seemed to be actually looking at me, and he was no exception. We started dating shortly after, and he was the king of my world. Seriously.

He was one of those guys who were kind of emo before there was an “emo”, and when I would ask if he was happy, he would say he was “content”. I was always sure he would break up with me for someone else, but it was actually me who broke up with him when I fell for the guy I ended up losing my virginity to. It turned out we were better friends than a couple, and we stayed in touch throughout the years. And he grew a big ole heart, too. He has been with his girlfriend for at least the past eight years, and when I first got on the phone with her, she was like “I’ve heard SO MUCH about you!”. A few years ago though he stopped calling me (he had got a big promotion and had to take the soul-crushing 91 Freeway every day to and from work), and eventually stopped answering my texts as well. I love this guy like a brother, and I’m still sad I can’t catch up with him anymore.

Then there’s Adam. Adam was my son’s father’s best friend when we were all in high school. There was no one as sweet as Adam. He was perpetually single, but I also think it was because he was perpetually shy. Around the time R and I broke up, R was going into this I-have-a-Honda-Civic-I’m-better-than-you phase and stopped hanging out with Adam, who actually cared about R as a person, not “what he can do for me guy” like all his other new friends. That summer Adam and I became good friends (and had that weird “should we or shouldn’t we? attraction going on), but eventually R came to his senses and became a decent human being again, and started hanging out with Adam again. I get the whole “bros before hoes” thing, but it still made me sad because Adam was the kind of person that would always have your back and be loyal, but he and R were friends way before I entered the picture, so I understand. Kind of.

Lastly, there’s my “one that got away”, and that was Robb. He was like no one I had ever met before. I still remember the first time I met him. I was working at Thrifty’s and this tall, slim guy wearing a beret and a second-hand suit walked in, and when he saw me he immediately came over and started talking to me. Turns out Robb and his twin brother were in town from San Diego for Thanksgiving, so we hung out that night. I used the sly “I’ve never kissed anyone with a tongue piercing” bit and I was in. But he lived in San Diego. And I was 17 and he was 20 (although that wasn’t an issue for me, just him).

One day I used the “I’m staying at my friends house” bit and drove two hours to San Diego to surprise him where he worked, at a coffeehouse (A COFFEEHOUSE! HE WAS SO COOL!!!). That day he took me all around San Diego, and I fell in love with the city. I called my mom from there and fessed up to where I was, and she was furious, but eventually understood that I was going to go down there whether she liked it or not. He came up to my neck of the woods a few times, but I loved San Diego so it was pretty damn one-sided. I loved the drive, I loved the people, I loved spending time with Robb. He would finish my movie quotes. He had this boisterous laugh. When I would get frustrated or angry, he would laugh out loud and ask me, “is it REALLY that big of a deal?” After about a month of dating, he said he wasn’t ready for where we were headed, as his father had died months prior and he hadn’t had time to get over it yet.

I was crushed, but within three weeks I was dating my ex, and within three months I was pregnant with my son. Three months after we split, he ran into a girl he had a major crush on in high school and they started dating. They are still married, thirteen years later. Funny how life works, eh? Every once in a while I would find him on Myspace or something and we would text or talk back and forth-but only when he was either at work or leaving work. Once I called and left a message on his phone and when the wife heard it, she was like, “is that THE WHORE? IS THE WHORE CALLING YOU???” I’ve never met her, I don’t even know what she looks like (I find it really funny when women do this, by the way-you’re married to the dude. Gain some confidence and trust! Sheesh!). It was too hard for him to keep talking to me, so I understood and we stopped talking. But he’s a great guy, and I miss his amazing humour and outlook on life.

Okay, so this was supposed to be short. My bad. I’m going to go put an icepack on my skull now.


  1. Hope your migraine goes away soon :)Love your blog :)

  2. Hope you feel better soon!


  3. Missed you Hed. Hope the pain goes away. A fellow migraine sufferer here so I understand. Great post. It just proves my point that we become the person we are today by the lessons we learned in the past. Their loss!! You sound like an awesome friend.