My blog is about the scenic, stressful, spectacular life (and everything screwy in between) of a
California girl turned expat transplanted to the land down under: North Queensland, Australia.

October 25, 2010

Where’s my “Reset” button?

These last three days have been horrible! Not for any other reason except my sleep schedule did a topsy-turvy on me. I’ll backtrack to Thursday.

I’ve been having a hard time sleeping lately, which never happens. Give me a pillow and a flat surface and I’m out. Lately when I lay down my body likes to fight my brain and not get comfortable, or my brain fights my body by looping “Ale Alejandro Ale Alejandro” in my head (they play a lot of Lady Gaga on the music video channel over here). Also there is a bird outside that chirps non-stop. I mean it’s 1:30am right now and it’s going “Who eee! Who eee!” What the hell kind of vampire bird chirps at 1am? It’s been taking me at least    1-2 hours to doze off, and then I can’t wake up. My husband’s been disciplined by waking up every morning at 8am, which is an ungodly hour for me. I tell him to wake me up at 11am. Then one more hour…then one more….until I wake myself up around 3pm. I don’t want to get up at 3pm, but my body feels exhausted (there has been some suspicion that I may have Fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome, but I’ve either been too busy working 50 hours or without medical insurance to be able to follow through on a diagnosis). Thursday morning I tried to crash at 3am, but I tossed and turned until 5am, and had to wake up at 7:45 for my first appointment with the psychologist in town.

He was an old guy…I’m not particularly fond of old guys, especially when I have to try and talk to an old guy about my issues. I swear he kept looking at my boobs (or my tattoos poking out), and I could barely understand his Aussie dialect. But I’m pretty much stuck with him since I live in the woop woop (or BFE or the middle of nowhere, whatever you’d like to call it). Back home if I didn’t like doctor #1, I go to doctor #2, or doctor #434, but over here your choices are extremely limited (also I read like every day there are months and months long waiting lists to see a dentist, even in an emergency situation…ugh). J says I should stick with the doctor and follow through with his treatments, since I pretty much quit everything I do. The one thing he did say is my depression is a demon that needs to be exorcised out of my body (okay I paraphrased that-it was more like “that’s not you, that’s the depression talking”).

J promised me brekky (breakfast) in town after the doctor, and I picked the Stock Exchange Cafe because I read they had gourmet coffee. The place was really cute (and small!), and their coffee didn’t disappoint. I ordered scones with jam and cream (I am IN LOVE with cream here. It’s fresh whipped cream but not as thick or sweet), but they were out, so I ordered pikelets, which are apparently silver dollar pancakes. Yum. J ordered a bacon and egg burger. Let me vent about food YET AGAIN in Australia. When my brain hears “bacon and egg burger”, I expect a variation of this:

This was J’s burger:

How in the bloody hell is THAT a burger?!?!? Also on the menu was a “mince burger” (ground beef pieces on toast) and a “steak burger” (a slice of meat on toast). I hate the food here. So much. My taste buds yearn for spicy, familiar foods that make me smile, and I’m constantly being let down. Except pastries and coffee and chocolate. They are all fan-freaking-tastic here.

They had coke in bottles, and a real espresso machine! I’m sold.

We got home and I went to take a small nap around 1pm. I ended up sleeping until 8pm. By the time I woke up everyone had already eaten and my husband was at work, so I think I made myself a cup of noodles. I stayed up until 5am, and then woke up at almost 7pm. Ugh! Same as the day before, made a burrito, stayed up until 5. I told myself if you wake up at 11am Hed, you’ll have gotten 6 hours, and that’s fine. Same.As.Yesterday. Had some spaghetti, stayed up until 7am. That was yesterday morning. I woke up to eat, fell back asleep, and woke up at midnight. I feel terrible (as expected), and I hope to go to sleep around 6pm tonight to hopefully get out of the cycle I put myself in. My husband wants to start walking, but he says it’s not up to him to push me, that I have to want to do it. My brain is screaming NEW START! NEW START! NEW START! I think I need to actually start listening now instead of going with my natural instincts, which tend to suck ass. Let’s hope tomorrow’s blog is at a decent hour!


  1. Hed my dear...I'm not going to tell you what to do but this sounds very familiar to me. At 27 I had worked myself into exhaustion. Working 7 days a week, caring for a 4 year old and a dad who just had a stroke and came to live with us. It was too much and all of a sudden I wanted sleep. Naps, sleep, naps, sleep. I went to the doc and he tested me for Mono. I thought that was for young teenagers...WRONG. I had it. I was so out of it for 6 months and 23 years later if I don't get my 8 hrs. of sleep I'm miserably sick feeling for the rest of the day. The blahs is about how I describe it. If you can get yourself to a regular doc maybe you can mention some blood work should be done for a few different things. It isn't normal to sleep that much. I do worry about you you know. Keep me informed. Hugs.

  2. I agree with Barb, however for blood work as for an iron and B12 check. It helps with energy levels.

    I was wondering why your comments were during my day (your night).

    ps: don't forget about the giveaway challenge, and vote for me (see blog about where to go).

  3. You should really try the roadhouse for a big burger like the one you expected, cos they have them and they look like that. They can't even close and they take up a whole dinner plate. That one was really just a toasted sandwich - and that's in Aussie terms. I would be dissappointed with that one lol. xo

  4. Barb-you SO sound like my mom. If she blogged you would have a lot to talk about!

    CBG-I voted for you (of course!) but my sluggish brain isn't letting me come up with anything clever!

    Lana-That's exactly what J said. MMMMmm...burgers!

  5. That was a bacon and egg sandwich, wouldn't call it a burger here in SA. Burgers come in rolls. The place looks great but some cafes seem to go all gourmet and the menu suffers. I agree with Lana, the best burgers and bacon and egg sangas come from a roadhouse- look for the big trucks tho.

  6. Have you asked you doctor if your aches and pain can be ascribed to your depression? Certainly the hours upon hours of sleep can [I know you know that, durr Skippy] - but sometimes inactivity would lead to the joint malaise and lethargic feelings you are experiencing making you suspect Fibro or CFS. Fibro is incredibly painful - to the point that you would be at the doctor yesterday if you had that pain. [I have Lupus and I understand that the pain from Fibro can mirror Lupus flares. Not a happy place to be.] Anyway - ask your doctor - it is no fun being in pain in any capacity.

    The food looks good - although not what you expected. I hope you find some local stuff you like there - I am sure it is hard to be in a new country and not have the comfort foods of home. Keep searching - something is out there! I bet!